oh god im just… ruined

the last time i posted at my tumblr, one of my best friends was trying to EAT  the guy that i loved and now im just fucking terrible… im fucking ugly and im sooooo fucking fat… i mean.. everytime i look to myself i just want to die and my best friend just … he is soo distant and i cant hold it.. i dont wanna eat… i dont wanna leave my home… i dont wanna go to school.. i just want to stay in my bed and crycrycrycry all day…. IT KILLS ME, i hate myself and now my bestfriend leaves??? im so ruined 

god please take me i’m ready, take me out of this hell